Are dinosaurs your favourite thing in the world?
My wife isn’t a dinosaur but after her and our cats, yes they are.
Do people think you look like Kamahl?
Yes. But only when I haven’t had a haircut.
Did a boy pull down your pants to reveal your green underpants in front of the whole school when you were in Year 4?
Yes. And the underpants were a little bit shiny so it was even worse than just a regular pantsing.
Do you sing songs to your cat Meow replacing the words of popular songs with the word Meow?
Yes. “EVERYBODY DANCE MEOW!!”
Will you photograph our wedding using Instagram?
If you want me to. I’ll use the fake tilt-shift effect in every photo too.
Have you played Guitar Hero for 6 hours in a row and hurt your back in the process?
Yes. But I was really struggling with Free Bird, I kept getting booed off during the solo at the end.
Did you once have dinner with Saddam Hussein?
No. But I did see Jimmy Barnes at the airport a few years ago.
What is your favourite body part?
I reckon my feet are pretty good.
How many showers do you have per day?
Is this a serious question? If you have less than 2, you’re a filthy grub.
If aliens took over the earth, what would you do?
I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.
Is it true that you are petrified of bugs?
I have a wife, this question is moot.
How many times have you been in a car accident?
Well my car has been hit 7 times, not one was my fault. In fact, 6 of them happened while my car was stationary and I wasn’t in it.
I heard you used to be a shoe salesman and people called you Al Bundy. Is that true?
Yes it is. I worked at a shop for 4 years when I was in high school.
What’s the most racist thing anyone has ever said to you?
Shut up Vegemite!
Did you once go to a Guns N’ Roses concert wearing a flannelette shirt?
What is the last good cereal you ate?
Crunchy Nut, the one and only good cereal in the world.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
Hopefully not selling Amway door to door.
Finally, do you think an FAQ like this will encourage people to hire you to photograph their wedding?
I’d hope this FAQ isn’t the only they’ve looked at. I do take nice photos as well.